A cultural historian has selected some of the best manuals for living a better life that date back to some of our earliest literature in time for new year's goals.
It is simple to write off self-help literature and its readers. But in addition to the fact that we require genuine self-help, we also need to elevate its importance. Self-help is a significant global sector, valued at $11 billion (£8 billion) globally. Many of our prevailing beliefs about the self and the society in which we live are both reflected in and generated by it. In addition to attempting to mold our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, the self-help industry also supplies many of the fundamental metaphors we use to discuss our inner selves. Many of those analogies, not the least of which is the idea that the mind is like a computer that may need to be reprogrammed, are at best ineffective.
Self-help skeptics contend that the present trend in self-help is a result of the prevalent neoliberal urge to maximize productivity. They interpret it as a cunning scheme to put the entire burden of caring for ourselves back on us. They contend that self-help makes all of our issues seem personal and attributes our failures to a lack of resolve and resiliency while, in reality, these issues are a result of capitalism's political system. The concept of self-improvement, however, has a long and rich history dating back to ancient wisdom traditions, even though this may be true of some forms of self-help. Our desire to become better versions of ourselves is tied to our urge to become more self-aware, masterful, and transformed. It is a perennial aspiration and a crucial aspect of what makes us human.
And certain self-help books can actually make us into better people. The improved self is better equipped to focus attention outwards, towards projects, other people, and the communities of which we are a part. I don't mean better in a competitive sense; rather, I mean better in an ethical sense.
1. Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius (AD 121–180), a Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, held the view that all pain originates in our brains. Suffering occurs from our responses to those circumstances—from flawed assessments and exaggerated expectations—rather than from external occurrences. In his Meditations, Aurelius makes the case that worrying about external events is fruitless because they are generally beyond of our control. In contrast, we have total control over how we interpret these experiences. As a result, we must focus all of our mental efforts within in order to master our brains. Because "only a madman seeks for figs in winter," lowering our expectations is the key to living a happy life.
2. The Power of Now: A Guide Book to Spiritual Enlightenment by Eckhart Tolle (1998)
In his bestselling book, Tolle makes the case that we are not our thoughts. According to Tolle, the majority of our thoughts are focused on the past or the future. Our past gives us a sense of who we are, while the future provides "the prospect of salvation." Both are deceptions because all we ever truly have is the moment at hand. So instead of identifying with our thought patterns, we must learn to be aware as "watchers" of our thoughts. We may then retrain ourselves to fully live in the present.
3. Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu
The Tao Te Ching's fundamental message is the spiritual self-cultivation achieved through the practice of letting go. Giving no resistance to the natural order of things is central to the Daoist concept of letting go. It encourages a sophisticated method of submitting our will to cosmic forces by letting go of our ties to our goals and expectations of particular results and embracing what is. The Tao argues that by going back to a more basic, genuine, and intuitive way of living, we might better ourselves. Wu Wei, which means "non-activity" or "effortless action," is a crucial idea. The best way to explain wu wei is that it is a spiritual condition characterized by acceptance of what is and the absence of selfish wants.
4. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D Burns (1980)
Burns' book's scientific foundation may no longer be state-of-the-art, but its central message is still incredibly current. It is a more practical interpretation of Stoicism, built on the foundations of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). The book Feeling Good provides excellent ways for teaching our minds to challenge self-defeating beliefs about both ourselves and other people. It shows how our thoughts influence our moods.
5. The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris (2007)
Of course, we are not fully rational beings. Our efforts to regulate our thoughts can occasionally backfire. Here, psychologist Harris from Australia outlines the foundations of A&C therapy (ACT). He encourages us to just deal with our bad thoughts and uncomfortable feelings, accept them, and then let them go rather than trying to control them. We will then be better able to commit to taking value-based action.
6. Walden by Henry David Thoreau (1854)
In Concord, Massachusetts, near Walden Pond, the famous transcendentalist philosopher Henry David Thoreau withdrew to a cottage in the woods where he tried to live "deliberately" and simply. He created the intriguing concept of "life cost" there, the ideal counterbalance to mindless materialism and the destructive Protestant work ethic to which so many of us are still slaves. Most of us consider it natural to exchange our lives for material possessions because we think that success and productivity are symbols of divine favor. Thoreau believed that working for a living was a necessary evil to which we should devote the least amount of time. His goal was to work no more than was required to pay for his most basic living needs and to use the rest of his time doing the things he truly loved.
7. Altruism: The Science and Psychology of Kindness by Matthieu Ricard (2015)
Altruism is regarded as the highest moral and spiritual ideal in many theologies and wisdom traditions. More recently, psychologists have demonstrated that charitable deeds make both the giver and the recipient happier. The French Buddhist monk Ricard claims that practicing generosity is the solution to overcoming our most serious social, economic, and environmental problems in addition to bringing about personal satisfaction. We can "link harmoniously the short-term economic difficulties, the mid-term quality of life challenges, and the long-term environmental challenges" thanks to altruism.
8. The Epic of Gilgamesh (circa 2100-1200 BCE)
Almost all methods of self-improvement have elements of heroic journey or quest stories. In these stories, the protagonist explores the unknown, whether it's a dark forest, a subterranean country, or a beast's stomach. There they run into difficulties and frequently have to fight against an adversary or a temptation. They return from their journeys transformed after overcoming these difficulties and are eager to impart what they have learned to assist others. The earliest example of such a story is how the formerly self-centered Mesopotamian ruler Gilgamesh returns from the wilderness with the plant that will grant him eternal life. He distributes his gift to his people rather than devouring it himself.
9. Grit by Angela Duckworth (2017)
Angela Duckworth, a psychologist, asserts that perseverance always triumphs over talent. That is comforting news for everyone who prefers to relate to Aesop's slow turtle over the hare's easy speed. "One thing is our potential. It's quite another thing what we do with it," she writes. Grit refers to the desire to continuously put in effort to advance both our performance and our skills. People with grit are motivated by an enduring passion and are constantly willing to learn. They live more cohesive lives, learn from their mistakes, and have direction.
10. The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri (1308-21)
This poem from the 14th century describes how middle-aged and spiritually weary Dante gradually overcame his weariness. He travels from Hell to Paradise under the guidance of his instructor Virgil, where he eventually meets his beloved Beatrice. The epic can be seen as a Christian cautionary tale or as a lengthy vengeance fantasy in which many of Dante's personal foes receive horrifying retribution. However, it can also be interpreted as a mythical tale of personal development and triumph. Through his numerous meetings in Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, Dante, who was once doubtful, is gradually re-educated. He learns from the inmates of Hell both the penalties of their poor decisions and how to not live his life. Dante eventually ascends to a higher spiritual level after purging himself of his own flaws.
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